So I’ve reached my goal with my Independent Learning Project. I learned to crochet. It’s true that there is always more that I can learn, more that I will learn, but I learned, and that’s what I wanted. I wanted to learn to do exactly what my grandmother always wanted to teach me, albeit now she won’t know about it. I learned more than how to crochet. I learned a new skill that I can use to make gifts and things for my children and my future grandchildren, should I be so lucky to get them. I have been using crocheting as a way to calm myself. I have been crocheting as a way to think. It gives me the time and space to breath, to relax while also doing something productive. I have had some of the best ideas I think I’ve ever had by putting a hook to yarn.
The yarn that I have is on back order, so I’ve had to wait. I don’t feel very productive right now. I’ve just been learning new stitches, especially blanket stitches, and I’ve been working on granny stitches. Of course, that, one of the “easiest” things to crochet, is beating me up. I can’t believe how hard they have been. My fat fingers have struck again! I can’t get them! If they were circles, that would be no problem, but since I want to progress past that, to do things that are harder than what I’ve already done. But I don’t have a chance at this point. My fingers don’t want to work with me so that I can get this. But, I have all summer to work it out and I will be doing so.
I’ve also found some patterns for socks. I figure if I use them with a nice, thick wool they could be like slippers for my monsters. They love when I make things. The twins like to sit in my lap and and hold each of my hands and act like they’re helping me. I love those moments with them. I feel like I’m helping my girls learn the skill that my grandma tried so hard to teach me. It feels like I’m passing on this skill to them. It makes me feel as if my grandma is here, that she knows what I’ve done, and she’s proud of me. I really want her to be proud of me.